Trying to change my life....advice...?

I know what you are going through. You see all the negative in people because that is what you learned from your parents, like how your mother is always talking crap of people your age. Being judgemental takes you no where. But I do trust my gut feelings. I dismiss some just because I know they are not trying to be bad, they just make the wrong decisions. If you want books, Torey Hayden's books are a good place to start. Torey Hayden is a special ed teacher. She realized during her career that a lot of the kids are not special ed at all. They only seem that way because of their home environment. When she finds out what is really going on she does her best to help the helpless children. I have read almost all of her books and it has helped me a lot. start off with the book "one child". that is her very first book and the most intense one. I hope this will help you.